“Why me?” is often a question people ask when tragedy or devastating circumstances strike. Our minds race with thoughts like, “It seems unfair when I work hard and play by the rules, yet I don’t get ahead;” or “When will it be my turn?” or “Will I ever catch a break?”
Although tragedy may happen, you don’t have to stay in the “why me?” mindset. Make a move. Make a decision to change.
Every person must experience change; however, the process depends upon how you choose to react to change: positively or negatively. Positive change leads to the fulfillment of your personal destiny, taking you to a place where you learn from your past and propel into your future. To make the move into your personal destiny, consider these action-steps:
Position: Learn from past experiences and mistakes to identify where you are now. Take time to reflect on inward and outward issues influencing your life. Challenge yourself to examine the people around you, the places you frequent, and behaviors you exercise that dictate your current situation. No one is perfect; we all make mistakes so don’t be hard on yourself. Position yourself to learn and grow from your past. Position your thinking to change your mindset from “Why me?” to “What’s next?”
Perceive: Ask the question, “Where do I want to go from here?” This question is a vital step to move into your personal destiny because it provides you the permission to dream. Dare yourself to dream again. Perceive and rediscover your dreams that lead to peace, prosperity, and paradise. Take the time and write down your dreams.
Plan: Decide the best process to reach your dreams and plan the steps toward positive change. Be sure to establish a realistic plan for yourself. For example, you may need more education to seek a new job. Write down the plan that will help you achieve your goal and closely follow your plan. If you find yourself veering off-course, immediately address the challenges and barriers hindering your progress. Also, don’t be overzealous about your progress. You will risk becoming overwhelmed and stressed by targeting results of plans that are too far reaching. Yes, dream big, but plan practically.
Partner: Find a partner or mentor. Mentoring is a structured relationship in which a person finds developmental support. Although the partnership can be used to impart knowledge or influence attitudes, it is best used to modify behavior. Build a partnership where your partner ensures your focus and supports your dreams. Focus and support are critical because a successful partnership must have clarity on the desired plans and commitment to invest time and energy to achieve the desired dreams. Consider the leadership behaviors of trust and credibility as you seek a source for partnership, be it in a manager of another department or a leader at your church.
Propel: Propel into your destiny and don’t look back. You can’t change the past, but you can create your destiny. Although it may be challenging to reach your dreams, embrace the courage it takes to propel into your future. Remember, there are no limits other than the ones you set on yourself. Accomplish your dreams through personal perseverance, remain focused, and know your purpose is to make a move toward positive change.
Karlyn D. Henderson, M.A.
Managing Principal of Organizational Effectiveness
and Leadership Development